


Cemetery - Songfic

by itsadastraperaspera



Series: Ellie's Songfic Sides [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: I Made Myself Cry, Logan Sanders Angst, Logangst, Mostly Canon Compliant, Not everyone is nice, Songfic, Strap yourselves in, call him logic, cemetery by coin, everyone is sympathetic, hoo boy, logan doesn't want to be called his name, logan's room hc because i Said So, these tags are a mess i'm sorry, thomas's adventure in chemical engineering, with divergence because i'm an Artist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:21:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24637495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsadastraperaspera/pseuds/itsadastraperaspera
Summary: "Never made time for the familyBut he is the richest man in the cemeteryOnly made time for the companyBut he is the richest man in the cemetery"- "Cemetery", COINLogic is perfectly content as the center of Thomas' function. He doesn't need the other Sides, and he definitely doesn't need a name. But when that comes crashing down around him, what will be left for him to save?
Relationships: Familial LAMP, familial sides
Series: Ellie's Songfic Sides [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1781365
Comments: 5
Kudos: 39
Collections: TSS Fanworks Collective





	Cemetery - Songfic

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Cemetery](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/631339) by Coin. 



> The only important piece of information regarding this fic is that it was conceived, written, and edited within a roughly twenty-four hour period. I've never written so fast in my LIFE.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this bit of angst! If you do, please drop some kudos or a comment - they make my day!
> 
> Special thanks to the Logangst discord server for helping me flesh out my plan when it was just a little drabble in the angst channel.

**~Cemetery~**

**He was born the fall of '58**

Logic was not the first Side to appear within Thomas' mindscape. 

Emotion, of course, dictated Thomas' existence for the first few months. He knew his name to be Patton, though he wasn't sure how, and knew his purpose: controlling Thomas' reactions to the world around him.

Emotion--who, by this point, was capable of calling himself 'Pat-Pat' and was, quite honestly, tired of being sole ruler of Thomas' life--eagerly welcomed a new addition to the mindscape when Logic appeared. He was more mature than Emotion and already sporting a necktie, loosely tied under the collar of a polo onesie.

As babies do, they didn't speak much to each other. Each controlled their respective aspects of Thomas' mind, and aside from occasionally toddling around the common room to assist him with the day's dilemma--eating the food set in front of him, choosing which toy to hold, etc.-- each ignored the other.

**Made a fortune selling real estate**

Until Logic-- _ Logan,  _ he knew, but what was the purpose of a name when his function suited him better--realized that emotional decisions got Thomas in trouble more often than not.

Thomas was a second-grader now, and prone to having his disciplinary card moved quickly up to red for what a kind teacher would call "sensitive and emotional" behavior and a cruel teacher (more common than the kind one) would call "impulsive and distracting” behavior.

Logic challenged Patton right before Thomas could throw his third tantrum that week.

He had been sitting, quietly, with Logic in control as the teacher explained long division to the class. Then, his classmate stole his pencil.

Patton suggested that he ask politely first. This, however, seemed to cause more harm than good, as the classmate only snickered and snapped it in two.

Patton burst into tears. "Why are people so mean?"

Consequently, Thomas mirrored his actions, hot tears welling up and spilling down red cheeks. He raised his fist, white knuckles shaking with the effort of holding himself together--

Logic could feel the all-too-familiar  _ feelings  _ crowding him, forcing him out of the immediate mindscape, no  _ no  _ NO he would NOT be ignored this time--

"STOP."

Thomas sniffled, tears still rolling. He lowered his fist, uncertain.

"Thomas, is it worth it? Three red cards in a week means they call your mother, you know."

Thomas pulled out another pencil and silently sat back down, face blotchy and red but slowly returning to normal.

"Logic, that's not  _ fair!  _ He broke Thomas' pencil, and he won't even be punished for it--"

"He is avoiding a far worse fate. If he was punished in front of his peers and had his mother called, he would suffer far more than he would to just let it go."

Patton fumed.

Logic took that as his cue to leave.

He didn't spend much time in the mindscape after that.

**Golden lions waited at the gate**

Instead, he spent his time improving his room. As Thomas' center for thoughts and information, his room was in a constant state of organized chaos. Notebooks full of math and grammar sat in haphazard piles on shelves and across the floor, while stray thoughts floated out of thin air, occasionally bumping Logic on their meandering path to the floor. The more Thomas learned, the messier his room became as more thoughts and notebooks appeared.

Logic dedicated himself to keeping his room as tidy as he could so that nothing was lost in the clutter, but he couldn't deny the warm feeling that filled his chest when he noticed new spiral-bound notebooks titled with Thomas' newest academic interests. Astronomy, chemistry, theatre--theatre? That was hardly a productive use of time.

He filed it under a large stack of other books, but it kept making its way to the top of the stack, each time coming back thicker than before. After his fourth attempt, he simply sighed and gave the filled three-inch binder its own filing cabinet.

**He was lonely, but it all looked great**

Patton and Roman--who had emerged early on in kindergarten but never posed any true value to Logic--noticed that Logic's room was constantly expanding and self-renovating as he spent more and more time in his room.

They didn't notice how Logic slipped out of conversations about Thomas' growing interest in theatre as he breezed through middle school and into high school.

**Never made time for the family**

Patton frowned as he stared at the empty spot at the table. Roman and Virgil were seated, quietly enjoying their family dinner.

Logan, for the third day in a row, had declined to eat with the rest of them and had instead taken a small plate of food up to his room.

Patton silently seethed as he ate. Logan never made it to movie night, never sat down to dinner, never shared anything with them--learning his name had been like pulling teeth, and Patton had only managed to weasel the information out of him by asking about the origins of their names. He had happily obliged, explaining that Roman was a regal name based off of romance and the noble Romans, and that he and Patton were part of the Greek philosophy of Ethos, Pathos, and Logos, which of course made sense because Patton started with P-A-T and ended with O-N while he started with L-O-G and ended with A-N and  _ oh, they were not supposed to know that-- _

He didn't even want them to know his name. Patton thought it was so cold, to only refer to yourself as your function. He only tolerated Thomas calling him Morality because it seemed to make him happy.

He had wondered if it would make Logan happy to finally be seen as more than just Logic, so he let his name slip to Thomas. After, Logan had blown up at Patton, screaming about the violation of trust and  _ what if you wanted to be taken seriously for once, you obtuse fucking idiot! _

It was the first time one of them had cursed in the mindscape.

Patton scraped his fork across his plate, savoring the screech of metal against ceramics more than the bite in his mouth.

**But he is the richest man in the cemetery**

As Logic retreated further into his room, Thomas rounded out his high school experience. Logic prided himself on every "A" Thomas earned, tacking each report card to his bulletin board.

His interest in chemistry was promising; he would do well to major in a chemistry-based field in college. His heart leapt at the thought: Thomas, engaging in intellectual activities for four more years before moving into a fulfilling full-time position at a well-respected company.

**Only made time for the company**

Roman scowled. "Logan, if you just let him stay five extra minutes--"

"It is  _ Logic, _ and he needs the time to study. Five minutes puts us into rush hour, and he'll lose fifteen more. He has an important  _ academic  _ test tomorrow. He cannot waste this time on five minutes of aimlessly running lines he has no hope of memorizing without losing valuable academic study time."

"Okay, fine,  _ Logic.  _ If you absolutely can't stand to lose five meaningless minutes of studying boring old chemistry."

Logan sunk out, leaving Roman to his thoughts.

He knew that Logic was right; Thomas  _ did  _ need to study for the test tomorrow. His grasp on the concept was not as firm as it should have been, and the test was weighted as a hefty percentage of his final grade.

But the five extra minutes could have helped him to perfect his delivery in the crucial scene of the play he was cast in, and Roman cringed to think of how long it would take for him to regain that progress.

**But he is the richest man in the cemetery**

Thomas aced his test. His lines took longer than normal to memorize, and Roman was certain that it was because Logan had intentionally buried them under some pile of inane academic knowledge.

Logan was beyond pleased with Thomas for choosing the responsible option. He would admit that Thomas' script had somehow ended up under a stack of articles about cryptids, but he was hardly responsible for Thomas' obsession with late-night internet rabbit holes. If anything, Virgil had spurred that particular train of thought on.

**He is the richest man in the cemetery**

The next family dinner featured another empty seat and much more outward grumbling.

Patton lamented Logan's unwillingness to participate. Roman muttered about his hatred of theatre. Virgil sat, silently absorbing the complaints.

He was pressuring Thomas to do his best, and that made Virgil, well, do  _ his _ best; he was on high alert at all times, ready to cue a breakdown at any small inconvenience. But he wouldn’t say that to Logan.

**But he is the richest man in the cemetery**

However, none of them could deny the academic progress that Thomas was making. He graduated with honors, accepted into a fantastic university with a top-notch chemical engineering program.

**Cut from diamonds, but he came from dust**

**Built a kingdom out of salt and blood**

Logic worked around the clock to help Thomas succeed. His personal wellbeing hardly mattered; Thomas needed him to study late at night and for class early in the morning and to study more in the early afternoon.

He built up his library, creating more and more complex filing systems for the in-depth classes Thomas took. The piles scattered around the floor became boxes on shelves, filed categorically and then by date learned. The chaos was controlled. Logic's room, for the first time, was near-spotless. There were so many boxes that Logic hardly noticed when the theatre boxes started to multiply instead of the chemical engineering ones.

**Owned a city, never saw the streets**

Logic dictated Thomas' life. He hardly left his room, and when summoned to the mindscape only stayed to answer the question at hand. He worked himself to the bone, worked himself to the point of exhaustion where the bags under his eyes rivaled Virgil's, worked himself until his vision tunneled. Nothing mattered but the next assignment, the next test, the next report card.

He never noticed that Thomas was as pale as he was.

**Or the people that he'd never meet**

He didn't notice the growing dissent of the others.

Patton wondered if he didn't notice, or he just didn't care?

**Warm blood, cold heart**

Sixteen hours of chemical equations. Thomas' vision blurred. His head drooped, slowly, slowly, until it hit the desk with a  _ thunk. _

Not that Logic noticed until--for once--he followed Thomas' lead and sunk into unwilling unconsciousness.

"He needs to stop…"

"Thomas…suffering… put an end to this…"

Logic opened his eyes, his eyelids heavier than Thomas' textbooks. He sat up, immediately on edge.

"He can't stop! He's so close to graduating, he won't make it without his degree…"

He trailed off. The others glared at him.

Patton spoke up first. "Logan--"

"Logic."

**Yeah, he's all alone**

**He had it all, but it couldn't buy love**

"Logic," Patton spit out. "You're running Thomas ragged. He needs to pull out of the program and pursue something that makes him  _ happy,  _ not that you would know what that means!"

"This WILL make him happy! He just needs to get through this tedious work. When he has a good, stable job, he'll be grateful that he pulled through."

" _ Logan,  _ when will you admit that this isn't what Thomas wants? Did you even listen to him? Did you listen to  _ us _ ?"

Logic opened his mouth, but Patton cut him off.

"No, you didn't! All you ever think about is your room and making it organized and perfect and making Thomas into a--a  _ machine--"  _ he spit the word at Logan like the word tasted bitter in his mouth--"and you don't even care but you're practically killing him!"

He was… killing Thomas? That was never his intent, he thought Thomas wanted this, he thought the others wanted this for him--

"Patton, I'm so sorry--"

**Yeah, he died alone**

"Just…" Patton looked up at him, tears in his eyes. "Just go back to your room. We're going to help Thomas resign from the program."

**Never made time for the family**

Logic tiptoed around them for weeks as they tried to pick up the shattered pieces of Thomas' life. Thomas moved out of his dorm and into an apartment on his family's borrowed money.

He shut himself in his bedroom, staying in bed and staring at the ceiling for hours a day.

Logic mirrored his actions in his own room, letting the meticulously organized shelves fall into disarray. He watched as years of learning faded from existence, until only scattered concepts and half-remembered facts remained. When he finally organized the remaining pieces, none appeared to fill their places.

Finally sick of the  _ nothingness  _ of Thomas' mind, he emerged from his room to seek out the others.

_ Lion King  _ played faintly as Logan rose up into the common room. He stepped out of his usual spot to stand nearer to the couch, only pausing to look at Patton, Virgil, and Roman curled on the couch together.

He cleared his throat. Patton turned to glare at him.

"S-salutations. I hoped to join you as you consume a piece of children's media in an attempt to 'pack-bond' with you. I am aware that I have somehow managed to upset you despite my best intentions and am attempting to rectify the situation so that we may proceed as a cohesive team in the future."

Patton sat up. "Oh, so you only want to be around us  _ after  _ you realize that you've run Thomas six feet under? Sorry, but after twenty-odd years of the 'lone wolf' act, I can't believe that you would want to be around us without some other motive behind it. What if you're just trying to get us to trust you so that you can run him into the ground again?"

"Yeah." Roman shifted uncomfortably. "You never wanted anything to do with us before. Why now?"

**But he is the richest man in the cemetery**

He sighed. "Thomas… isn't learning  _ anything _ . He's gone stagnant. I--" Logic fumbled for the words-- "I don’t want him to go back to chemical engineering. Upon review, he was not thriving. I cut him off from his non-academic interests thinking that he would survive without them. That was a miscalculation."

The others rolled their eyes at him. Logic straightened his necktie. "I hardly think I need to adsignify this point. Thomas, under my direction, was not performing at maximum capacity. I wish to correct this by interacting with you."

**Only made time for the company**

Roman opened his mouth, most likely to throw an insult in Logic's direction, but Logic raised his hand to stop him. "Roman, would it motivate Thomas to learn more about theatre and perhaps pursue more creative interests?"

Roman's eyes lit up, and that was all the response that Logic needed.

**But he is the richest man in the cemetery**

He sat down, careful only to occupy the furthest square on the L-shaped couch from the others.

"Long live the king," Scar boomed from the television.

"Why does he say that?" Logic scrunched up his nose. "His intent is obviously to commit fratricide; why would he praise the king whom he feels has belittled him?"

Roman sighed. "Logic, it was sarcasm."

"Oh. This still doesn't make sense, though. From a logical standpoint, wouldn't it make more sense to kill off the cub  _ first?  _ Then the king would be properly discouraged and much easier to manipulate--"

"Logic, if you can't just enjoy the movie, can you please just go back to your room?" Patton turned to look at him, annoyance uncharacteristically plain in his features.

"My apologies. I did not intend to cause distractions. I will retire to my room for the night, then."

**He is the richest man in the cemetery**

The next night, Logic appeared at the dinner table. He took his spot between Roman and Patton, ignoring their disbelieving stares with as much grace and poise as he could muster.

The tension at the table was tangible. Logan straightened his tie and glasses before serving himself--spaghetti and meatballs--and starting on his meal.

Roman spoke first. "So, Logic," he started, carefully judging Logan's expression. "I was thinking of helping Thomas enroll in a community theatre program. The next show is Guys and Dolls."

Logan nodded slowly, trying to keep his face schooled into a neutral expression. "It would be an optimal learning experience for him. A show that is simplistic in nature but capable of developing his skills as an actor… a good way to--" He pulled out a set of flashcards, crisp and unmarred-- "dip his feet in?"

Roman smiled as Patton scowled.

**But he is the richest man in the cemetery**

"But that won't make him  _ smarter,  _ so what is there for you to gain?" He hiccupped, tears beginning to well up. "When I wanted you to join us, you refused time and time again… why now? Why have you decided we're finally  _ good enough  _ for you now?" Patton's voice pitched higher and higher--both in volume and decibel--until the last word was more of a strangled scream than a word. His face, cherry-red and streaked with tears, was full of so much pent-up anger, frustration, love--

Love?

Logic must have been mistaken.

**Never made time for the family**

"Thomas could do  _ anything  _ and it would benefit me! Right now he's doing  _ nothing,  _ which is both agonizing for me and--I'm certain--infinitely boring for the rest of you. He needs to do something--anything, to be quite honest--that will stimulate his mind and motivate him to learn. If theatre is that  _ something,  _ then I will support it. It's in Thomas' best interest now."

**But he is the richest man in the cemetery**

Community theatre helped Thomas immensely. He no longer stayed indoors all day, instead choosing to visit with friends both old and new. The acting experience melted into every aspect of his life; he grew more confident, choosing to post videos online and develop his own sense of humor.

Thomas chose--on his own--to enroll in a local community college for the hell of it. He took courses in everything from astronomy to theatre history, concerned only about learning and delving into topics he enjoyed.

**Only made time for the company**

YouTube came after the demise of Thomas' preferred video program. He asked Logic for help with scheduling and logistics, much to his delight.

The Sides often argued against Logic's driving rhetoric, but he knew not to push Thomas to a real breaking point again. He informed their debates, filling in facts to counter against Patton's emotional responses--much to Patton's chagrin.

"Logic, not everything has to be done so efficiently! He needs to have an emotional response sometimes. Let me take the lead; he needs his father figment sometimes."

"If he makes well-informed decisions, I would not mind if they were, ah, emotionally-charged. But he cannot charge into every situation head-first. He must know the facts."

Thomas looked between the two. "Pat, I think Logan's right about this one--" Logic cringed at Thomas' casual use of his name-- "I need to know what's happening before I make a decision." Patton frowned. "...But I suppose that sometimes I could analyze a little less and use my heart more."

**But he is the richest man in the cemetery**

When the episodes ended, however, Patton hardly spoke to Logic. They put on smiles and witty remarks for the camera, only to retreat to their common room and pointedly ignore the other.

Logic couldn't deny that he was confused by Patton's stubborn refusal to accept his apology, but he respected the other's wishes.

**He is the richest man in the cemetery**

That is, until he couldn’t stand it anymore.

Logic waited until the end of dinner, when Roman and Virgil had left.

"Patton. Can I talk to you briefly, please?"

"Sure,  _ Logic.  _ What do you want?" He regarded Logic with a guarded expression, so unfamiliar on his face.

"Patton, please, can we be civil? I know you've decided I'm a selfish robot, but I assure you that I just want what's best for Thomas. I always have, even if I went about it the wrong way occasionally. I want to know what I can do, so that you will accept my apology."

Patton sighed. How many times had Logic been on the receiving end of that sigh? "Logic, I…" He paused, considering his next words. "I know I've had a hard time accepting that you want to be around us. I thought that if I, I don't know, kept being  _ angry,  _ it would keep me away from reality. And it did. I always thought you were so standoffish. You seemed to have so much power over Thomas--without even trying--that you didn't even think to consult us. I thought you were doing it to spite us. And when Thomas went to college, it only cemented that faulty--er, well, logic. When you tried to come to us, I thought you were only trying to gain a higher seat."

Logic stared at Patton. All this time… it could have been avoided. He could have done better, he always could have done better. Patton thought he was trying to avoid them… and he had only fueled that by suppressing his own emotions, his own identity.

"I--Patton, I'm so sorry. All this time, I thought I could function on my own, without anyone else's input. I didn't think the rest of you would care. I knew Thomas listened to me, so I did my best to make sure that I was serious and his mind was well-prepared for success. I never even considered… That was-- stupid of me. It will not happen again. My deepest apologies. I will be more forthcoming with my plans in the future. I sincerely hope you can forgive me."

**But he is the richest man in the cemetery**

Patton smiled at him, a smile full of sorrow and pain, but a smile full of hope as well. "Logic…"

Logic blinked at him. The whole ordeal would need time to fix, but there was such a small change that could be made…

"Call me Logan, please."


End file.
